Bids for Connection: The Invisible Language of Love

A bid for connection is any attempt — verbal or nonverbal — to get your partner's attention, affection, or support. They happen constantly, and most of us don't even notice them.

Your partner points out a bird at the window. They sigh loudly while reading the news. They say "I'm tired" while you're both getting ready for bed. Each of these is a bid — a small reach toward you. And each one gets one of three responses: turning toward, turning away, or turning against.